Reflections in the Rain

I'm standing in the shop caught in the rain and unable to get out due to the heavy downpour. I reach for my phone to retrieve some reading materials that I had kept away to pass the time while waiting for the rain to stop. This article caught my eyes.

YESTERDAY'S GRIEF

The rain that fell a-yesterday is ruby on the roses,
Silver on the poplar leaf, and gold on willow stem;
The grief that chanced a-yesterday is silence that incloses
Holy loves when time and change shall never trouble them.

The rain that fell a-yesterday makes all the hillsides glisten,
Coral on the laurel and beryl on the grass;
The grief that chanced a-yesterday has taught the soul to listen
For whispers of eternity in all the winds that pass.

O faint-of-heart, storm-beaten, this rain will gleam tomorrow,
Flame within the columbine and jewels on the thorn,
Heaven in the forget-me-not; though sorrow now be sorrow,
Yet sorrow shall be, beauty in the magic of the morn.
--Katherine Lee Bates

Streams in the Desert
10 May 2011

Being caught in the rain, hemmed in and unable to get out. Yesterday's grief seems to be like this rain. We stay huddled waiting for the storm to pass. Soon it will pass, and we will breathe fresh again. The flowers will once again look crisp and new. The fields will look lush and green once more.

MT
15 November 2011

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Devastated by Death

Hi, I'm back with a new posting on this blog after a long break. I've been catching up on my travels the last two months. Here's an article from Max Lucado who writes thought provoking views:

MT


Devastated by Death

The following is a one of 172 questions and answers from the new book, Max on Life.

The seven-year-old son of our neighbors died last week. They are devastated. So are we. What can we tell them?

God is a good God. We must begin here. Though we don’t understand his actions, we can trust his heart.

God does only what is good. But how can death be good? Some mourners don’t ask this question. When the quantity of years has outstripped the quality of years, we don’t ask how death can be good.

But the father of the dead teenager does. The widow of the young soldier does. The parents of a seven-year-old do. How could death be good?

Part of the answer may be found in Isaiah 57:1–2: “Good people are taken away, but no one understands. Those who do right are being taken away from evil and are given peace. Those who live as God wants find rest in death” (NCV).

Death is God’s way of taking people away from evil. From what kind of evil? An extended disease? An addiction? A dark season of rebellion? We don’t know. But we know that no person lives one day more or less than God intends. “All the days planned for me were written in your book before I was one day old” (Ps. 139:16 NCV).

But her days here were so few . . .

His life was so brief . . .

To us it seems that way. We speak of a short life, but compared to eternity, who has a long one? A person’s days on earth may appear as a drop in the ocean. Yours and mine may seem like a thimbleful. But compared to the Pacific of eternity, even the years of Methuselah filled no more than a glass. James was not speaking just to the young when he said, “Your life is like a mist. You can see it for a short time, but then it goes away”
(James 4:14 NCV).

In God’s plan every life is long enough and every death is timely. And though you and I might wish for a longer life, God knows better.

And—this is important—though you and I may wish a longer life for our loved ones, they don’t. Ironically, the first to accept God’s decision of death is the one who dies.

While we are shaking heads in disbelief, they are lifting hands in worship. While we are mourning at a grave, they are marveling at heaven. While we are questioning God, they are praising God.

Max Lucado
Friday, June 17, 2011

MT 27 September 2011

Shattered Glass

Shattered Glass

Once we could see with perfect vision
Our view of the world through the windows of our heart
Each scene framed with impeccable clarity
Its different shades and shapes we could tell apart

Crack! The sound of fractured lines appearing on the crystal clear glass
From whence they come, no one knows
Disappointments that impinge upon our soul
Are stone-like encounters thrown upon those windows

Each stone inflicts an insidious mark
A chip here, a hairline crack there,
Over time what we see is a shattered glass
The world now with all its imperfections before us laid bare

Faith, hope and love...?
From which the glass is skillfully made with care
Precious and fragile elements
Easily shattered beyond repair.

Aren't they through which the world we see?
The eyes of faith, the eyes of hope, and the eyes of love?
The world appeared much better then
With these three graces sent from heaven above

Without faith, one can wax cynical
Without hope, one gets mired in despair
Without love, life loses its meaning
All of them we need, till heaven's shores we get there.

How different our view of God suddenly becomes,
Seeing God through our disappointments, hurts and pains
We frantically search for the piece that offers the best view
We've lost that big unobstructed pane

The more of the cracks we see upon that window
The less of God we see in our world
Our views fragmented, our theology shredded,
The reality of the world before us unfurled.

Somehow the imperfect vision is now with us
But we know when the perfect is come
We shall see Him as He is, face to face
We will no longer see in part, but the sum.

MT
30 July 2011

He Defeated Death

Here's an article I came across sometime ago this Easter, which I kept in my file for later posting on this blog. It does give us something to think about regarding end of life issues that are seldom talked about but yet these issues are something that we will quite likely be struggling with.

He Defeated Death


Jesus said to them, "Come and have breakfast." Now none of the disciples dared ask him, "Who are you?" They knew it was the Lord. Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them, and so with the fish. This was now the third time that Jesus was revealed to the disciples after he was raised from the dead. (John 21: 12 - 14)

Recently, my husband and I attended a forum to discuss the increasingly controversial issues surrounding end of life decisions. The event was intended to approach the topic from a Christian worldview, drawing on the Christian teachings of the dignity of human life.

Most of us came expecting experts to delve into the ways we can ethically preserve a person's life in a culture all too quick to promote what Pope John Paul II coined "the culture of death." This aspect of end-of-life issues is a very important one, and it was discussed at length. But before we got to those topics, a local trauma surgeon gave the first talk. And her words sunk in deeply with the entire room.

She highlighted the reality that death is part of human life, and when it's a person's time, it's okay to die. She offered ways families can come to recognize - and find peace - when that time comes.

I can't lie - these words were hard to hear even though we all, deep down, know we are mere mortals. Nobody wants to die. Nobody wants to think about death. It is strangely easier to discuss heavy issues such as battling diseases or unethical procedures than to discuss the need to accept natural death.

Undoubtedly, part of our hesitancy to discuss the topic is fueled by our own sense of self-preservation and fear of loss. But I also think the topic is difficult because as Christians we celebrate life - and rightly so. We are people of hope, people who cherish the gift of life and the blessings that come with it. For centuries, Christians have been among the first to defend life and promote the dignity of even the tiniest, most fragile person.

But the trauma surgeon's talk about preparing for natural death does not run contrary to being people of hope. She spoke these words in light of our true hope: Jesus Christ. She highlighted that while we should not prematurely end our earthly lives - because, yes this life is a gift - there is eternal life with Jesus Christ awaiting those who believe. Our time here is a time of preparation for the fullness of life in Christ. She said (to paraphrase), "Natural death of a loved one or even our own is the time we are called to put into practice that faith we've developed year after year as church attendees, deepening our relationship with the Lord."

During this Easter week, we celebrate the resurrection of the risen Christ. Jesus Christ faced all the loneliness, pain, and fear that comes with death and conquered it. And as we read the Easter scriptures, we see that he did not disappear or abandon his disciples after the resurrection, but walked among them in his glorified state to offer further hope and instruction. So now, as we celebrate this profound moment in salvation history, we must ask ourselves: Do we truly believe He has conquered death and will never abandon us? As Christians, we can say yes with confidence.

April 29, 2011

by Sarah Phillips, Crosswalk.com Family Editor


The struggle has always been between letting go and holding on, isn't it? How we need God's insight to make the right choices when the time comes.

MT
18 July 2011

Kathryn's Memorial Dinner Photos

Here's a link to the album on Kathryn's Memorial Dinner in May.
Click here.

MT

2 July 2011

Koibito-yo My Love

KOIBITOYO 恋人よ

Kareha chiru yugure wa
枯れは　散る　夕暮れ　は
Autumn leaves falling at dusk


Kuru hi no samusa o mono gatari
来る　日の　寒さをものがたり　
Show signs of the approaching cold


Ame ni kowareta benchi ni wa
雨に　壊れた　ベンチには
On this bench broken by the rain


Ai o sasayaku uta mo nai
愛を　囁く　歌　もない
There are no whispers of love songs



Chorus:
*koibito yo sobani ite
恋人よ　そばにいて
My dearest love, please stay with me,


Kogoeru watashi no soba ni ite yo
凍える　私　の　そばにいてよ
It’s freezing cold, please stay with me


Soshite hitokoto
そして　一言
Then say a word to me


Kono wakare banashi ga
この　別れ　ばなしが
That this parting story

Jodan dayo to Waratte hoshii
冗談　だよと　笑って　欲しい
Was a joke that we can laugh about




Jarimichi o kakeashi de
砂利道　を　駆け足で
On the pebbled street running


Marason hito ga yuki sugiru
マラソン　人が　行き　過ぎる
A marathon jogger passing by


Marude bokyaku nozomu yoni
まるで　忘却　の　ぞむ　ように　
As if he wants me to forget


Tomaru watashi o sasotte iru
止まる　私　を　誘っている
He stopped and is urging me


Koibito yo sayonara
恋人　よ　さようなら
My dearest love, farewell


Kisetsu wa megutte kuru kedo
季節　は　めぐって　来る　けど
Seasons go around though


Ano hi no futari yoi no nagareboshi
あの日の　二人　宵　の　流れ星
Those days the two of us like the evening shooting stars

Hikatte wa kieru mujo no yume yo
光っては　消える　　無　じょお　の　夢　よ
Shining and then disappearing like passing dreams

Koibito yo sobani ite
恋人よ　そばにいて
My dearest love, please stay with me,

Kogoeru watashi no soba ni ite yo
凍える　私　の　そばにいてよ
It’s freezing cold, please stay with me

Soshite hitokoto
そして　一言
Then say a word to me


Kono wakare banashi ga
この　別れ　ばなしが
That this parting story


Jodan dayo to Waratte hoshii
冗談　だよと　笑って　欲しい
Was a joke that we can laugh about


by MAYUMI ITSUWA



MT


Memorial Dinner, 7 May 2011

To Where You Are

To Where You Are

Who can say for certain, maybe you're still here,
I feel you all around me, your memories so clear,
Deep in the stillness, I can hear you speak,
You're still an inspiration, can it be?

That you are mine, forever love,
And you are watching over me from up above,
Fly me up to where you are beyond the distant star,
I wish upon tonight to see you smile,
If only for a while to know you're there,
A breath away's not far to where you are.

Are you gently sleeping, here inside my dream,
And isn't faith believing, all power can't be seen,
And as my heart holds you, just one beat away,
I cherish all you gave me, everyday.

For you are mine, forever love,
Watching me, from up above,
And I believe, that angels breathe,
And that love will live on and never leave.

Fly me up to where you are beyond the distant star,
I wish upon tonight to see you smile,
If only for a while to know you're there,
A breath away's not far to where you are,
I know you're there,
A breath away's not far to where you are.


Song by
Josh Groban

Kathryn's Memorial Dinner
7 May 2011.

To What Purpose was this Waste?

Matthew 26:8
The disciples asked Jesus, ‘For what purpose is all this waste?’ at the sight of the woman with the alabaster box pouring out all its contents that were precious to her and that she had been saving up all her life for her day of marriage.

A graduating bible college student weds his fiancée as they both start out on a promising life as missionaries to the unreached tribes of Kalimantan. Before they could begin on their mission, they are killed in a tragic car accident while returning home from a speaking engagement in one of the local churches.

An active lay leader serving on the worship team and actively helps out in the church’s programme for the handicapped and orphaned children for many years suddenly dies of a heart attack while taking the children on an outing and picnic.

A Korean tent-maker working among the refugee camps of Africa serving as a medical support personnel showing the love and mercy of God to a people that hardly knew or heard of the name of Jesus, is suddenly decapitated and his body mutilated by terrorists.

A missionary couple serving in India for many years reaching out to those afflicted by leprosy. The husband and their young son suddenly finds themselves surrounded by religious fanatics and gets burnt alive in the car he was travelling in.

Or what about a man by the name of John who had spent his early ministry years preaching repentance as a voice in the wilderness waiting in prison and finally ends up having his head delivered on a platter, much to the dismay and chagrin of the rest of his followers who had been praying for his release.

'What purpose is all this waste?’ Isn’t this the same question we pose ourselves and God when we see lives seemingly ended prematurely by some inexplicable act or tragic moment? Whether it is losing someone we know and cherish dearly or hearing the loss of someone who had much potential for the work of God, situations like these always trigger the same kind of question. Beyond a personal loss to the families of those who lost their lives, isn’t it also a loss to the kingdom and purposes of God? We find ourselves in the same shoes as the disciples because we do not and cannot see the situation from God’s perspective. Not now, anyway. Can we fault the disciples for asking that question?

“Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over” John 12:24 The Message. We look at this passage, and ask, ‘does it need to involve actual physical death?’ Can’t it refer to death of our personal ambition, our pride, our selfishness, for the corn of wheat to bear much fruit? Which of the above does this passage apply to? The answer I guess is, “all of the above’. Jesus knew what he was talking about, for him to fulfill God’s purpose of redemption for man, he had to die. Our mission in life goes beyond our life, it lives beyond death like the Master.

What is the conclusion? This is what Jesus’ take on this story of the woman with the alabaster box was, “I assure you: Wherever this gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what this woman has done will also be told in memory of her” Matt 26:13 HCSB.

MT
16 May 2011

One Day at a Time

When I was planning for this memorial dinner, I asked myself why would I want to do this and what my response would be to questions in people's minds as to why do we want to revisit the past pain and grief?

Firstly, I wanted to use this occasion to express my personal thanks to all of those who have played an important role in our lives over the last years. On top of that it is to recognise and honour the woman that God gave to be my helpmate for the past 25 years.

Kathryn has been God's gift to me and my family. Those of you who know my personal story, the period of her illness coincided with another challenging period in my life in which I was faced with a company dispute and a court battle. She stood with me through the entire time always encouraging me to keep trusting the Lord for his deliverance from this case. She was my constant prayer partner and intercessor. Thank the Lord just recently, we have been cleared of the court case.

We just celebrated Easter. Easter speaks of Jesus power over death.
I often think about Jesus' miracle in the raising of Lazarus. I think the greater message is not that Lazarus was raised back to life but in that Jesus had the power over death. And because of that we shall also be raised together with him. Because he is the resurrection and the life, we can have the assurance that we shall be raised up with him.

However, having the confidence that Kathryn is with the Lord right now and having the hope that we shall one day meet again does not lessen the pain and the grief that we feel. We feel just as devastated as anyone else would be. What is the picture of grief? Sometimes, it is not only the one who is in sackcloth and ashes but also the one who may be smiling and appearing to act normally as well.

This memorial dinner also gives me an opportunity to answer some of the unasked questions that you like myself would have concerning about someone who is grieving over the loss of a dear one. Sometimes we feel uncertain how to bring up such matters and so we keep them in our minds and our hearts.

How have we been coping individually and as a family? What has happened since?

Well, life has simply got a bit more complicated. Trying to cope with a life that doesn't conform to the usual 'happy ever after' endings is challenging. You try to manage the twists and turns in life and yet try to experience God's grace in a season of wilderness. It's like learning to find meaning in the midst of grief, finding joy in the midst of sadness.

Thank the Lord for three wonderful children who have been patient with their father as he copes with managing the new situation. God has been very gracious to them.

I was hoping to be able to complete a book on Kathryn's life in time to share it with you at this memorial dinner. However, it has been a challenge trying to stay on top of things while managing the day to day responsibilities. I will let you know once it is completed.

Thank you to those of you who walk the journey with us by following the blog that I write regarding my journey. Needless to say, the journey is still continuing and we can only trust God to lead us one step at a time, one day at a time.

MT
1st Anniversary Memorial Dinner
7 May 2011

A Celebration of Life

Memorial Dinner for Kathryn:
7 May 2011

A Celebration of Life
We had a memorial dinner at the Ee Chinese Cuisine at Eastin Hotel, Petaling Jaya, on 7 May 2011 for family members and close friends. It was an occasion to remember Kathryn as well as for me to thank all those who have been special to our family during the recent years.
We shared some glimpses of Kathryn's life through a slideshow entitled, ‘A Celebration of Life’.

Many of you have known Kathryn for ages and some over a lifetime. There are many others who could not be with us that night but were with us in spirit.



A Word of Appreciation:
A special mention to those were away overseas but made special effort to come: Derrick and Lay Wun who came all the way from Jakarta to attend this memorial dinner and my neighbor Ong, who just arrived from Casablanca.

First of all, our thanks to our God for his grace and strength that has sustained us through the past year. Thank the Lord for the wonderful years that I've shared with the wife that he had given. I’ve got my three wonderful children who had to patiently put up with their father as he struggled through the past year coping with the challenges of being a single parent. My special thanks to the following people who have been special to us:

Kathryn’s Parents:
Thank the Lord for my parents in law for raising up their daughter into the wonderful Kathryn that I fell in love with and got married to. I appreciate my mother in law for being the wonderful friend to Kathryn.

Mark’s Parents:
My thanks to my own parents and siblings for quietly standing with us all these years. My parents have been wonderful parents to me and wonderful parents-in-law to Kathryn.


Cell Members for the unfailing support given to us throughout all these years both when Kathryn was well but especially during the times when she was not. We remember the various cell outings that we had together plus Kathryn's 50th Birthday party that you helped put together that now become precious memories that we cherish. You were there offering your moral and prayer support during the time she was in hospital.


The Overcomers Group that Kathryn grew up together with during her teenage years and enjoyed those times of learning Christian principles. You kept in touch although many of you are now located in other parts of the world.

The Assuntarians Class of 75 who came together in the last few years. Thank you for arranging the ‘wild’ parties in your reunion get togethers that Kathryn told me about. Your belly dancing sessions for the 50 somethings have found their way into my blog.

Lai Yoong & Jenny Chua for taking time last year to put together some meals for Kathryn. We had good times together more than 25 years ago even when we were all starting out as young married couples settling into our first houses then.

William & Jane Wong in Australia: for the times we went on a double date during our respective courtship days in the mid-80’s together during those days. You have been a great friend to us.

Lilian Jansen in Singapore who would have been with us tonight if not for the Singapore General Elections which was held today. Lilian walked all the way from her house in USJ 3 to SS 19 even when she was without transport just to buy foodstuffs to prepare a special meal for Kathryn when she heard that Kathryn did not have much appetite to eat. It is small acts like these that show us what wonderful and supportive friends we have.

Mabel, Kathryn’s cousin in Singapore, who supported us and visited us as often as she could when she learnt that Kathryn was not well. Despite her obligations in her church in Singapore where she pastors, she somehow made a special effort to visit Kathryn and stayed with us to lend a helping hand.

Beng Choo our neighbour, in the times of our need and crisis you were always there to lend a hand. Beng Choo helped to ferry my children from school and tuition classes and doing marketing of daily provisions when we were unable to do so.

Fee Lin who skilfully put together flowers in a beautiful bouquet for others not knowing that those flowers are often a reflection of the inner beauty you have in your heart. You have a heart of gold. Kathryn and I have been wonderfully blessed by the jokes that you frequently sent by sms that would often cause her to break out in cackles of laughter. Thank you for your thoughtfulness over the children.

Lillian Cheah for showing us around the various doctors and clinics when we needed medical consultation despite your own needs.

Jenny Cheam for helping to run errands for us and accompanying Kathryn to the hospital for check-ups and treatment. Kathryn really enjoyed those times you went out shopping and ‘lepaking’ together. We remember the many trips that our families made together - to Australia in 2004, to Bali, to Langkawi in 2009, as well as those many trips we made together with the cell

Amy & Stewart: Amy for being there for Kathryn and making her feel at home in Klang when we first got married. Both of you were not from GT Klang then. Stewart for being a friend all these years. I remember the joys of being first time parents when your Irvin and our Melissa were born during the early years. One of the memorable times Kathryn and I have was the trip to New Zealand in 1990 when we visited you in Auckland.

Margaret & Alex Raj for being our dearest friends all these more than thirty years and for Alex more than 45 years. I remember the ten sen coin that you spared me when my last coin ran out at the public phone during an important phone call to Kathryn when we were fixing up a date. I would like to think that that coin made a difference to our budding courtship thirty years ago.

Margaret Tan and Kang Hoe who have been a great source of strength and encouragement to Kathryn and me all these years. Margaret, for coming over to our home with worship CDs and Bible study lessons and coming by every other day with double boiled soup for Kathryn. Not mentioning the countless meals and sweet fellowship we have had together. We have been much blessed by your friendship and generous spirit.

Agi Hoh who has been a gracious friend, a tower of strength and encouragement to Kathryn and myself throughout all these years particularly during the past recent years when Kathryn faced the most critical challenge in her life. You have been our tireless and faithful prayer partner and counselor. You stood with Kathryn at the most difficult moments.

Poh Keat and Beng Choo: Beyond being a colleague and boss to Kathryn, you have become a friend that she looked up to and respected even long after she left the firm. Thank you for coming by with Chui En and Kay Cheng to pray for her and to show your love and support even though I had to restrict the visiting times and say no several times because Kathryn's condition did not permit it.

Mona & George, my sister in law and her husband for their support and fellowship. We have grown much more closer in the last year and you got to know your brother in law a little bit more better.

Betty, my sister who took special effort to come by and stay with us once a week when she could so that our home would still have a woman's touch. She knew that her kid brother could always do with some help. Somehow the children would always be at their better behaviour when she is around.

Philip and Steven, my brothers, for looking after the business when I was not able to, so that I could look after Kathryn.

Ladies, those of you would come by our home and have become special aunties to my children. You have become very special to the children.

And for all of you who are here as well as those not here with us, time and space do not permit me to mention all that you have been to our family. Thank you and hope you have a wonderful evening.

MT
7 May 2011

In Loving Memory

Kathryn Teoh Boon Kee

19 November 1958 - 2 May 2010

‘I didn’t die. I lived! And now
I’m telling the world what God did.
Psalm 118:17
(The Message Bible)

A year has passed since we last spoke
It'll be a long while till we hear your voice again
I know you are having the greatest time there in our Father's house
We will get to see you there

It still baffles us why you had to hurry home so early
It came as a surprise to us,
even though you told us you might
I'm sure God has it figured out
So we'll just trust Him anyway.

We've had a great time, didn't we?
The best times of our life in fact,
The laughters, the walks, the quiet moments
Sometimes when it gets lonely here,
Thinking of those times just makes our day lighter

By the way, please don't worry about us here,
God has promised to take care of us
So far, He's done just that, and more
I see no reason that He's going to change, ever.


Till we meet again, hugs and kisses from all of us.


Greatly missing you,

Mark,
Melissa, Pamela and Darren
2 May 2011



The Star
2 May 2011

Final Days

About this time last year, Kathryn was admitted into Sime Darby Medical Centre (previously Subang Jaya Medical Centre) to do some tests and to determine whether pleural tapping was needed to clear her lung congestion. She had been experiencing pleural effusion, a condition where excess fluid accumulates in the pleural cavity between the lungs and the wall lining. Because of that she had been complaining of breathing difficulties for some time now and we thought it might be good to have her checked up. Jo had got an appointment fixed with the chest specialist at SDMC and suggested that we see him. Pleural tapping or draining was a procedure to remove the excess fluid in order to create space for the lungs to expand and thereby enable easier breathing.

Agi, and Lilian Jansen came by that day as it was their turn to take care of Kathryn for that day. Shortly after, Mona, Jenny and Jessie also dropped by to see her. We didn’t have much time to fellowship as we had to hurry for the appointment. Pam and Darren waved their mum goodbye as we left for the hospital. Both of them were recovering from a flu and were wearing masks as they didn’t want Kathryn to catch a cough. Pam’s eyes were red with tears she could not follow us to the hospital.

After the check-up with the radiologist at the SDMC, we decided to have Kathryn checked in to do the pleural fluid draining so that her breathing difficulties could be eased. What we didn’t know then was that what was supposed to be a difficult but necessary operation for Kathryn would turn out to be a very complicated one. Although the operation was successfully done, the recovery process was slow and eventually she succumbed to her condition two weeks after. We didn’t realize that those two weeks were to be crucial final weeks for her.



MT 19 April 2011

Joined in God - Sorrow and Joy

Joined in God

"As sorrowful, yet always rejoicing" (2 Cor. 6:10). Sorrow was beautiful, but her beauty was the beauty of the moonlight shining through the leafy branches of the trees in the wood, and making little pools of silver here and there on the soft green moss below.

When Sorrow sang, her notes were like the low sweet call of the nightingale, and in her eyes was the unexpectant gaze of one who has ceased to look for coming gladness. She could weep in tender sympathy with those who weep, but to rejoice with those who rejoice was unknown to her.

Joy was beautiful, too, but his was the radiant beauty of the summer morning. His eyes still held the glad laughter of childhood, and his hair had the glint of the sunshine's kiss. When Joy sang his voice soared upward as the lark's, and his step was the step of a conqueror who has never known defeat. He could rejoice with all who rejoice, but to weep with those who weep was unknown to him.

"But we can never be united," said Sorrow wistfully. "No, never." And Joy's eyes shadowed as he spoke. "My path lies through the sunlit meadows, the sweetest roses bloom for my gathering, and the blackbirds and thrushes await my coming to pour forth their most joyous lays." "My path," said Sorrow, turning slowly away, "leads through the darkening woods, with moon-flowers only shall my hands be filled. Yet the sweetest of all earth-songs--the love song of the night--shall be mine; farewell, Joy, farewell."

Even as she spoke they became conscious of a form standing beside them; dimly seen, but of a Kingly Presence, and a great and holy awe stole over them as they sank on their knees before Him. "I see Him as the King of Joy," whispered Sorrow, "for on His Head are many crowns, and the nailprints in His hands and feet are the scars of a great victory. Before Him all my sorrow is melting away into deathless love and gladness, and I give myself to Him forever."

"Nay, Sorrow," said Joy softly, "but I see Him as the King of Sorrow, and the crown on His head is a crown of thorns, and the nailprints in His hands and feet are the scars of a great agony. I, too, give myself to Him forever, for sorrow with Him must be sweeter than any joy that I have known."

"Then we are one in Him," they cried in gladness, "for none but He could unite Joy and Sorrow." Hand in hand they passed out into the world to follow Him through storm and sunshine, in the bleakness of winter cold and the warmth of summer gladness, "as sorrowful yet always rejoicing."

"Should Sorrow lay her hand upon thy shoulder, And walk with thee in silence on life's way, While Joy, thy bright companion once, grown colder, Becomes to thee more distant day by day? Shrink not from the companionship of Sorrow, She is the messenger of God to thee; And thou wilt thank Him in His great tomorrow For what thou knowest not now, thou then shalt see; She is God's angel, clad in weeds of night, With 'whom we walk by faith and not by sight.'"

Streams in the Desert February 19

Tsunami

Tsunami of Emotion and Understanding

"Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!"
Job 2:9

This week, I came across a story that is all at once heartbreaking and hope-giving, tragic and uplifting, devastating and determined.

This excellent article by the International Mission Board's Shawn Hendricks chronicles what has happened to and through one Christian family on India's east coast since the tsunamis of late 2004. I encourage you to check it out. If you do, it will effectively function as your devotional for today much better than what I am about to write in response to it.

In a real-world account of events straight from the Book of Job, Paramesvaran and Choodamani lost all three of their children the day after Christmas that year. My heart breaks for families who lose one child, much less three. Imagine having lost one of them who was in your arms but who you were just not strong enough to hold on to against the crushing force of so much water.

Imagine being mocked by your friends and family for your faith while you are suffering such tragedy and burying your own offspring.

Imagine being so full of grief you discuss a suicide pact.

But then... eventually... the clouds lift, first for one spouse who is gifted by a word from the Lord about the blessing that her husband survived when so many others did not. Then, later, the husband feels the tugging of the Lord letting him know that his children are safe with Jesus, they're okay, they're full of praise and life.

The real, personable, meaningful faith in God pulls the couple up, and back together. They are blessed with two new children. But beyond that...

...the fact they are alive and together allows them to become adoptive parents to TWENTY orphaned children. Each of them has come to a saving relationship with Jesus, several helping their new father preach the gospel throughout the area.

The example of the family, assisted by donations of Christians around the world, has "brought the Good News into areas that were once unreceptive to Christianity."

The ends of things are truly never known until later. Purpose is often invisible until it isn't. Damaging floods can become cleansing baptisms through the passage of time and reflections from fresh perspectives.

Job refused to curse God and die. He instead decided ultimately to acknowledge that nothing he ever had was his, and that the only thing worth living for was the knowledge that God is awesome, powerful, and beyond our comprehension. And yet, loves us beyond measure.

His story is not just a fable or morality tale. It can seem that way to our modern ears, which are unaccustomed to the reality of THAT much tragedy. But that much tragedy occurs all too frequently around our globe, and when it does, it should not shock me to the extent it did when I read this story. I feel like I should nod knowingly about the cost and fragility of life on this big blue ball, and how despite all the shaking and quaking there can still be a steady security when I give up any notions that I am god, that I am in control, that my job is to do anything with my time here but praise and share, worship and help, live and move and be every minute that he allows.

May God continue to bless the ministry of Paramesvaran and Choodamani, and increase the strength in them that was built from climbing out of their tragic valley. May I not complain today about events that matter not. May I continue to see God's hand in everything as long as I have eyes to take it all in. And should I or my loved ones suffer anywhere close to this much, may we never forget this example of coming out the other side reborn, making ministry from the madness.


by Shawn McEvoy, of Crosswalk

Wednesday, March 2, 2011


Note : Really, any death in the family always hits you like a tsunami. You may be unprepared or you may think you are prepared, no one can ever say that he is totally equipped to face the full impact of that tsunami when it hits him how matter how much you steel yourself up emotionally and mentally. The aftermath of the tsunami - the devastation, the carnage, the loss, the sorrow, the grief, and eventually the time for reconstruction is something one will need to live through.

Being in Job's shoes is not easy. Job has taught us how to deal with adversity. It is easy to allow our faith to be swept away together with everything else by the tsunami of calamity. Job’s wasn’t.

MT
4 March 2011

The Better Thing

The Better Thing

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41-42 NIV.

Here’s another look at this familiar passage.

Jesus had stopped by at the town of Bethany - which was east of Jerusalem - where the sisters, Mary and Martha had stayed. When we remember that Jesus public ministry was only three years, and that this encounter with Mary and Martha must have been towards the later part of his ministry, it must have been quite close to the end of his time on earth.

His heart must have been filled with many thoughts about his impending death. He must have wanted to spend some of his last moments with those that were dear and close to him. His heart was heavy and perhaps he wanted to share what was on his heart in a small and close fellowship setting.

We see here two contrasting pictures of the two sisters, Martha busy around the kitchen attending to a quick fix meal and never had the time to spend with the Lord. Mary on the other hand, was a picture of serenity, “Mary… who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.” Martha’s attention was directed at what seemed important, but was in fact not as important as spending time with Jesus during his last weeks on earth.

We are always faced with the choice between what seems good and seems better. Sometimes we may be confronted with a situation where the ones we love may have a limited time with us due to some critical illness. We struggle between the priorities of what is needful. We get worried and upset maybe because things don't seem to be working out well. What do we do? I think sometimes they would want us to lay aside all our busyness and spend some quiet moments with them, talking, communing and just having good fellowship. In the midst of attending to their medical needs and physical needs, we need to realize the importance of spending as much time with them as possible.

What can be worst than to die alone or die a lonely person? It is most comforting to them when they have their loved ones around them as much as possible in the last days, weeks or months before they leave us for eternity. I hope we do not miss out on the one thing that is important, ‘to choose that which is better”.

I am glad that we managed to spend much time with Kathryn in the last year before she left us. We laid aside the trivial things and focused on the things that were important to her. We spent much time praying and fellowshiping together as a family even as we took care of her medical and physical needs. She would wait eagerly every evening for me to return home from work and eat together with her and the children. We used to enjoy simple activities such as playing word puzzle games like Scramble or Upwords on the iPhone together when her physical mobility became a bit more restricted. We spent much time together when we took her around for her medical consultation at the hospitals.

In her final weeks, everyone came around to be with her. And more importantly, we were there with her when she left us. When she finally left us for heaven’s glory, we were there with our family and close friends to bid her farewell. She was surrounded by those whom she loved and those who loved her deeply. In the midst of a difficult situation, I’m glad we chose ‘the better’.

MT
24 February 2011

When Death Becomes Birth

Here is an interesting article by Max Lucado on living and dying :

Week of February 4

When Death Becomes Birth
by Max Lucado

You, as all God's children, live one final breath from your own funeral. Which, from God's perspective, is nothing to grieve. He responds to these grave facts with this great news: "The day you die is better than the day you are born" (Eccles. 7:1). Now there is a twist. Heaven enjoys a maternity-ward reaction to funerals. Angels watch body burials the same way grandparents monitor delivery-room doors. "He'll be coming through any minute!" They can't wait to see the new arrival. While we're driving hearses and wearing black, they're hanging pink and blue streamers and passing out cigars. We don't grieve when babies enter the world. The hosts of heaven don't weep when we leave it.

Oh, but many of us weep at the thought of death. Do you? Do you dread your death?

Is your fear of dying robbing your joy of living? Jesus came to "deliver those who have lived all their lives as slaves to the fear of dying" (Heb. 2:15).

If Scripture boasted a list of the famous dead, Lazarus would be near the top. He lived in Bethany, a sleepy hamlet that sat a short walk from Jerusalem. Jesus spent a lot of time there. Maybe he liked the kitchen of Martha or the devotion of Mary. One thing is for sure: he considered Lazarus a friend. News of Lazarus's death prompts Jesus to say, "Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but now I will go and wake him up" (John 11:11).

And now, four days after the funeral, Jesus has come calling. Literally calling, "Lazarus, come out!" Can we try to picture Lazarus as he hears those words? Heaven-sent Lazarus. Heaven-happy Lazarus. Four days into his measureless days. By now he's forming fast friendships with other saints. King David shows him the harps. Moses invites him over for tea and manna. Elijah and Elisha take him for a spin in the fiery chariot. Daniel has promised him a lion of a Bible story. He's on his way to hear it when a voice booms through the celestial city.

"Lazarus, come out!"

Everybody knows that voice. No one wonders, Who was that?Angels stop. Hosts of holy-city dwellers turn toward the boy from Bethany, and someone says, "Looks like you're going back for another tour of duty."

Lazarus doesn't question the call. Perfect understanding comes with a heavenly passport. He doesn't object. But had he done so, who could have faulted him? His heavenly body knows no fever. His future no fear. He indwells a city that is void of padlocks, prisons, and Prozac. With sin and death nonexistent, preachers, doctors, and lawyers are free to worship. Would anyone blame Lazarus for saying, "Do I have to go back?"

But he doesn't second-guess the command. Nor does anyone else. Return trips have been frequent of late. The daughter of the synagogue ruler. The boy from Nain. Now Lazarus from Bethany. Lazarus turns toward the rarely used exit door. The very one, I suppose, Jesus used some thirty earth years earlier. With a wave and within a wink, he's reunited with his body and waking up on a cold slab in a wall-hewn grave. The rock to the entrance has been moved, and Lazarus attempts to do the same. Mummy-wrapped, he stiffly sits up and walks out of the tomb with the grace of Frankenstein's monster.

People stare and wonder.

We read and may ask, "Why did Jesus let him die only to call him back?"

To show who runs the show. To trump the cemetery card. To display the unsquashable strength of the One who danced the Watusi on the neck of the devil, who stood face to clammy face with death and declared, "You call that a dead end? I call it an escalator."

"Lazarus, come out!"

Those words, incidentally, were only a warmup for the big day. He's preparing a worldwide grave evacuation. "Joe, come out!" "Maria, come out!" "Giuseppe, come out!" "Jacob, come out!" Grave after grave will empty. What happened to Lazarus will happen to us. Only our spirit-body reunion will occur in heaven, not Bethany Memorial Cemetery.

When this happens—when our perishable earthly bodies have been transformed into heavenly bodies that will never die—then at last the Scriptures will come true:
"Death is swallowed up in victory.
O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?"
(1 Cor. 15:54-55)

With Christ as your friend and heaven as your home, the day of death becomes sweeter than the day of birth.

From
Come Thirsty
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 2004) Max Lucado

MT
16 February 2011

Chinese New Year Revisited

Chinese New Year Revisited

Chinese New Year. This year we gathered around for the reunion lunches and dinners that we usually have at this festive season together with the tradition of ang pows to be given out. As most of our families are all nearby, the reunion dinners are minus the fanfare and the excitement of the ‘balik kampung’ rush. And since we see each other quite often, the main thing that distinguishes these meals from the normal ones is the variety of New Year dishes that make their appearance once a year.



The first two days are normally given to visiting my side of the family and Kathryn's side of the family while the third day onwards would be for visiting friends. Each year, it has become customary for us to have a family picture taken for each family in the morning before proceeding to visiting relatives through the day. In that way, we have a collection of family photos showing the changes in the family each year including new ones being added.

For us as a family, I would normally give out ang pows to my children and Kathryn on the morning of the first day of the New Year. The giving of ang pows is accompanied with some wishes for each of the children followed by a prayer for them. Kathryn and I would also exchange ang pows and whisper a prayer for each other. There would be much to rejoice and you could hear the sounds of much laughter in the house. We would then take our family pictures before we leave home to join the rest of our siblings and their families at our parents' homes.

Last year Kathryn was not well enough to join the rest of the family members in the reunion meal as she was very sick. We had the reunion lunch at our home instead of at her parent's home. Some of the cell members and friends were also kind enough to come around to have a meal with us seeing that she was unable to do the normal visitations.

This year as it was last year, there is an empty place in the extended family photos where she would normally be. This year, there is also an empty place in our hearts where she has been and where she will always be. There are sounds of laughter as in the past, but the sound of one laughter is missing. We do miss her so much.

I would like to share some photo clips from the last two years' CNY.

Chinese New Year 2009 and 2010

MT
5 February 2011

We Belong to the Lord

A few months ago, I listened to a message podcast that seemed to bear a significant relevance to my situation. It centred on this verse:

Rom 14:7-9 'For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself. For if we live, we live unto the Lord and if we die, we die unto the Lord. Therefore whether we live or die, we are the Lord's. For to this end, Christ died and rose again, that He might be Lord of both the dead and the living'.

As I reflected on this and tried to recall what I heard from the message, several thoughts came to my mind.

Firstly, each one of us belong to the Lord individually whether we are living or have passed on. Even though one may be a husband and wife or a member of a family, God ultimately has rights over each one of us as individuals and He can call us up back to Himself as He sovereignly decides.

Whether we live or die we belong to the Lord.
We have been purchased with a price we are no longer our own. Inasmuch as Kathryn had been with us for the past 25 years I must understand that she belongs to the Lord and not to me. She had been entrusted to me to care for and to love during those years. God has every right to take her back unto himself.

Secondly, when we are alive, we are to live unto the Lord. This means that our lives are meant to glorify God through the manner in which we live our lives. We do not live for ourselves. When we die, we are also meant to glorify God in our death. As much as we need to live well, we need the grace of God to die well.

Kathryn has emphatically shown that through her death, God has been glorified through the number of lives that she has touched both directly and indirectly. She has indeed run her race well. She was not alone in her death. Many others felt the loss through her death.

She has shown us how to live and she has shown us how to die - with dignity and with purpose. I am privileged and blessed to have shared these few years with a woman of such stature.

God is both the God over the living and the dead. God's lordship over us does not end with the end of our life here on earth but it straddles across the curtain of mortality and time into eternity. May we all learn how to live well and also know how to eventually end the race well - with dignity and fulfilment.

MT
31 January 2011

In the Exam Hall

Date : Sometime in the past
Time : 11.30 am.
Event : GCE ‘A’ Level Examinations (Higher School Certificate)
Setting : School Examination Hall

I am sitting at my desk, feverishly working through my last questions in the English literature paper so that I can have enough time to do some last minute checking of the answers before the time is up. I look up at the clock at the front of the hall that stares back at me telling me that I have another half an hour to go before everything comes to a stop and I have to submit my answer papers, incomplete answers and all.

Complete silence around the hall as everyone, else bent over their desks, is doing the same. Suddenly, I could hear the sound of someone getting up from his chair, the hustle of papers being arranged neatly, ready to be handed in to the invigilators. From the corner of my eye, it was the person seated next to me. She had completed her answers ahead of me. She marched up confidently to the invigilators and handed up her papers. As she left the hall, she turned and glanced at me, gave me a wink, and said, ‘See you outside when it’s all over’.

Of course, she is not the only one to be leaving the hall early. Some of the others have long gone for different reasons. Some of them had come into the hall totally unprepared for what was to be an important examination of their school years and had no inkling of what the correct answers to the questions were. Half the time staring blankly at the question papers, scribbled some answers the best they could, doodled with their pencils, erased some of the answers before replacing them with fresh ones, uncertain of whether their latest answer would better than the one they had just deleted. They too left the hall, about three quarters through the exams.

“Time’s Up!” cried the invigilator as the clock struck 12.00 pm. Game over. Some of the other examinees just refused to put down their pencils and tried to put in some finishing touches to their answers, before their answer sheets were swept away by the invigilators. “How much more can they try to do in those two minutes before they had to surrender their papers?’ I thought. ‘tsk, tsk, tsk…”

Life is just about the same isn’t it? We look with envy at those who managed to complete their answers way ahead of time and wonder to ourselves, what did we miss? What did they have, that we lack? Yet in the examinations of our life, when it comes to someone that we treasure deeply leaving so early, it seems so different. We mourn, we pine, we weep. The truth is, they have completed their work and can confidently march out of life’s examination hall, while we who remain are left still struggling to complete the paper. There is nothing more they could have done because they have completed their life’s work.

Of course, there are those that have left early, having left behind unfulfilled lives, unable to complete what they were intended to do. And there are others, who while away their time, while the clock ticks away, only to rush in some last minute answers just before the clock strikes twelve.

I guess for us, we need to put in those answers diligently as best as we can, making the most out of the time we have before the exam is over. Till then, we need to remain focused and re-fire our zest for living and for life’s mission.

MT
21 January 2011

Where is God When It Hurts?

"Where is God when it hurts?

Really for most of us, this is the first thing we do when we are confronted with difficult questions in life - we seek God. However, in those moments God has a way of remaining hidden and silent. We are left struggling, groping for answers and relief, wandering and wondering. Where is He? Is He standing afar off, arms folded, watching as we haplessly struggle to tread water without going under.

I wonder whether this is how a person in the world feels when he is faced with a loss or pain. Have we been able to empathize and meet them at their level rather than expect them to come to our level, our programs, our activities. They watched, waited. No one has come forward. The church will go on, the world will go on, the activities will remain as they are, everyone goes on with their lives, the suffering continue to suffer, silently.

Pain they say is good, at least physical pain. It acts as a warning system to alert us of inherent dangers to our everyday life. But what about emotional pain? Something that is not very apparent and obvious. Can we stare at the face of someone suffering or someone dying and see beyond the physical pain to see the emotional pain? Do we take the trouble to do so? What do we do?

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts to us in our pain" - CS Lewis. I wonder why we still religiously perpetuate the image of the priest and the Levite who walk by with blinkered eyes, muffled ears and muzzled mouths as we side-step the inconvenient and leave the responsibility to the uncelebrated Samaritan? Our view of the world remains that of trees walking.

Can we do without pain? Can pain be avoided? It's all around us, the hospital wards filled with the chronically sick and the dying where death seems to be the only certain relief to pain and suffering, the streets of the underprivileged with faces of anxiety for whom life's daily challenge remains food, shelter and clothing, the undernourished staring back at us with gaunt eyes and emaciated bodies, the lives of those abused looking into an uncertain future. Maybe that is why God chooses to remain silent - so that He can be heard through us; and He chooses to remain hidden - so that He can be seen in us or He chooses not to do anything - so that whatever He does is done through us. Where is God when it hurts? I wonder.....

MT
21 December 2010

Into the Warm Arms of God

Melissa, my eldest daughter and I were having a conversation a few days ago about Kathryn. It went on something like this:

'I wonder where Mummy is right now? Is she sleeping, to be awoken when Christ comes? Is she in the presence of God right now? Can she see what is happening on earth?'

We went on to talk about the story of the rich man and Lazarus, the beggar in Luke 16:19-31 where both of them died. The rich man found himself in hell while Lazarus was found in heaven with Abraham. I went on to say that not much is known about what happens during the period when someone dies to the time when Christ returns. Very few people ever touch on this subject.

I guess God must have overheard our conversation that night. Tonight as I was reading an online devotional passage by Max Lucado, I got excited when my eyes fell on the title of his devotional and what he wrote which I have reproduced below:


Week of January 7

Into the Warm Arms of God
by Max Lucado

What about my loved ones who have died? Where are they now? In the time between our death and Christ's return, what happens?

Scripture is surprisingly quiet about this phase of our lives. When speaking about the period between the death of the body and the resurrection of the body, the Bible doesn't shout; it just whispers. But at the confluence of these whispers, a firm voice is heard. This authoritative voice assures us that, at death, the Christian immediately enters into the presence of God and enjoys conscious fellowship with the Father and with those who have gone before.

Isn't this the promise that Jesus gave the thief on the cross? Earlier the thief had rebuked Jesus. Now he repents and asks for mercy. "Remember me when you come into your kingdom" (Luke 23:42). Likely, the thief is praying that he be remembered in some distant time in the future when the kingdom comes. He didn't expect an immediate answer. But he received one: "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise" (v. 43). The primary message of this passage is God's unlimited and surprising grace. But a secondary message is the immediate translation of the saved into the presence of God. The soul of the believer journeys home, while the body of the believer awaits the resurrection.

Some don't agree with this thought. They propose an intermediate period of purgation, a "holding tank" in which we are punished for our sins. This "purgatory" is the place where, for an undetermined length of time, we receive what our sins deserve so that we can rightly receive what God has prepared.

But two things trouble me about this teaching. For one, none of us can endure what our sins deserve. For another, Jesus already has. The Bible teaches that the wages of sin is death, not purgatory (see Rom. 6:23). The Bible also teaches that Jesus became our purgatory and took our punishment: "When he had brought about the purgation of sins, he took his seat at the right hand of Majesty on high" (Heb. 1:3 neb). There is no purgatory because purgatory occurred at Calvary.

Others feel that while the body is buried, the soul is asleep. They come by their conviction honestly enough. Seven different times in two different epistles, Paul uses the term sleep to refer to death (see 1 Cor. 11:30; 15:6, 18, 20; 1 Thess. 4:13-15). One could certainly deduce that the time spent between death and the return of Christ is spent sleeping. (And, if such is the case, who would complain? We could certainly use the rest!)

But there is one problem. The Bible refers to some who have already died, and they are anything but asleep. Their bodies are sleeping, but their souls are wide awake. Revelation 6:9-11 refers to the souls of martyrs who cry out for justice on the earth. Matthew 17:3 speaks of Moses and Elijah, who appeared on the Mount of Transfiguration with Jesus. Even Samuel, who came back from the grave, was described wearing a robe and having the appearance of a god (1 Sam. 28:13-14). And what about the cloud of witnesses who surround us (Heb. 12:1)? Couldn't these be the heroes of our faith and the loved ones of our lives who have gone before?

I think so. When it is cold on earth, we can take comfort in knowing that our loved ones are in the warm arms of God. We don't like to say good-bye to those whom we love. It is right for us to weep, but there is no need for us to despair. They had pain here. They have no pain there. They struggled here. They have no struggles there. You and I might wonder why God took them home. But they don't. They understand. They are, at this very moment, at peace in the presence of God.


From
When Christ Comes: The Beginning of the Very Best
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 1999) Max Lucado


It was as if God was concerned enough to answer our questions so quickly. For sure, there are many other questions that we still have. But for now, God's answer is good enough. How comforting and reassuring it is!

MT
7 January 2011